Openness in Adoption

It's easy for an adoptive couple to feel those pangs of hesitation when considering the amount of openness they desire after they're placed with a child. We know those feelings because we felt them! In the months prior to connecting with Valerie, we spent a good deal of time hem-ing and haw-ing about how "close" we want to be to our children's birth parents and birth families.

But do you know what we discovered?

All of our hesitations, all of our insecurities, all of our hems and haws...well....they disappeared the MOMENT we met Valerie. What we both knew and felt was that this was a partnership. Valerie would always be a mother. We would always be Ian's parents.

What we knew from that moment forward was that Valerie was giving us the gift of parenthood. It was only our pleasure to recognize and celebrate her parenthood as well.

No longer do adopted children and their birth parents need to have questions: Where did I come from? Did my birth mother love me? Does my baby know who I am? Are they happy and healthy and well taken care-of?

Knowing about his birth mom has made Ian a confident and more loved child. We believe in open adoption--so much so, that we practically cheered out loud when Ian saw someone who greatly resembled Valerie and gave the lookalike a giant bear-hug. It was a very defining moment for our family. At the tender age of almost-3, Ian's first reaction to Valerie's face is that of love and all-out giddiness.

And while we believe in the great benefits of an open adoption, we also respect your desires and expectations. All adoptions are different, as are the people involved. We want you to know that we will do everything we can to make sure that your child feels your love--that's our goal as a family. And however it is that we all decide to do that--well, it benefits everyone. We're in this together.